Getting Called Out by My Boyfriend

Dinner and arcade date night ❤️ Shea got me 2 new fur babies for my plush collection.

A LOT is going on. After doing 8 hr shifts regularly, my body is actually struggling to get back on 12s. I also put myself in shitty situations where I don't rest enough between sets. Right now, I'm considering picking up the 8hr shift tmr. It's been hard for me to bounce back on fitness and nutrition, and it is showing (then I become hard on myself even more).

I've also been subpoenaed to present as witness in court for the assault that happened to me LAST year. A lot of triggers and trauma came back. I've never been to court, and I'm requesting to see if it is possible to do it virtually. I have no idea wtf I'm supposed to say or do, and I'm gonna have to relive the assault while potentially seeing the patient again in person.

I'm also trying to find a job back in Niagara and a sublease for my apartment in Toronto.

I have no energy to be empathetic and present for myself, so I can't be the same to others. Shea, he called me out. In a good way. He told me I put myself in bad moods, and I take way too much on than I need to. I realized I was setting unrealistic expectations of myself. I stress about stuff that isn't going to happen for a while. I almost cried at dinner yesterday when he told me that it is okay that I do not have to take on everything because I can't. It's not possible nor realistic. I've been impatient, irritable, labile. He's been so patient, tender, caring, grounding. He's shown me so much kindness and gentleness. He makes sure I go to bed and eat (that's how much I'm struggling rn). My brain is running a million miles a minute, and he helps me slow it down. I can't turn it off, but we're trying the best we can. I'm at a breaking point right now, but Shea has been helping me keep the pieces together. He reminds me it's okay to be weak and I don't have to solve everything immediately. I'm forever grateful to him.💓 seeing Shea and how he takes care of when my mental health is at a low makes me emotional. I feel so loved. He makes me feel warm and safe and weak (in a good way) 😌 thanks honey